The wellness industry has a pill for everything — but how many actually work?

I like to stay fit, which means I spend a fair share of my life dodging supplement ads that follow me across the internet like demented pigeons. Open YouTube and a square-jawed influencer explains why his morning requires 17 capsules, three powders, and something harvested from a mountain reachable only by yak.

Every week brings a new miracle molecule. Last week it sold longevity. This week, telepathy. Next week, immortality.

This is the tragic comedy of wellness culture. We obsess over optimization while ignoring the obvious.

Then there is the cult of optimization, embodied by Bryan Johnson, the man who turned his own body into the priciest science project in operation. Johnson’s regimen reportedly involves constant blood testing, endless biometric tracking, and enough pills to stock a pharmacy.