I (Almost) Watched Starfleet Academy So You Don’t Have To

Gentle reader, I failed you. 

Despite all the negative hype from trusted reviewers like The Critical Drinker, or the crews at Film Threat and Nerdrotic, I decided I’d man up and watch at least the first two episodes of Starfleet Academy, now streaming on Paramount+.

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Yes, the trailers and previews were groan-inducing. But at least it has Holly Hunter as the Academy’s chancellor, Captain Nahla Ake, and Paul Giamatti as the show’s villainous foil — could it be that bad, really, with those two signed on?

I wanted to believe, I really did. There’s a great show somewhere inside Starfleet Academy, even though it’s nowhere near Starfleet Academy.

I failed to finish even the first episode. Yes, it could be that bad, really.

The premise comes