Imagine a multiverse where fantastic fictionalizations of all American historical figures exist simultaneously. George Washington and Abraham Lincoln are childhood friends. Benedict Arnold is a werewolf. Sam Adams is a beer-swilling fraternity president ready to found an army of bros.
Thomas Edison is a Chinese woman who veers closer to Tony Stark than the inventor of the lightbulb. Geronimo is there for some reason. Paul Revere is like Tarzan, but with horses instead of apes. John Henry is a small-business owner being crushed by taxes. Independence is on the menu.
In a nutshell, that would give you “America: The Motion Picture.” But don’t start getting excited, because as delightfully entertaining as it sounds, it’s terrible. It’s horrible. It’s one hour and 38 minutes of your life that you will never get back.
This is despite the pedigrees of some of those involved. It’s also possibly a result of the pedigree of one of the people involved. Writer David Callaham