Bad news, fellas: Emma Watson is “self-partnered.” That’s how the feminist starlet describes being single as her thirtieth birthday draws near. “If you have not built a home, if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby, and you are turning 30, and you’re not in some incredibly secure, stable place in your career, or you’re still figuring things out,” she lamented to Vogue, “there’s just this incredible amount of anxiety.” But Watson has come to terms with her romantic situation. “I never believed the whole ‘I’m happy single’ spiel,” she admits. “It took me a long time, but I’m very happy [being single]. I call it being self-partnered.” I call it delusion.
Marriage is not for everyone. Some of the happiest people on earth are unmarried, but they aren’t “self-partnered.” A 2007 survey of job satisfaction from the University of Chicago concluded that the happiest and most job-fulfilled people in the United States are