It’s Time To Talk Issues Even Though I Don’t Care Either [Satire]

It’s Time To Talk Issues Even Though I Don’t Care Either [Satire]


The election is drawing near, and while the media tries to distract us by gabbling about whether Trump is wearing a mask or by covering up allegations that Joe Biden is as corrupt as Ben Gazzara in Road House before Patrick Swayze kicked him in the face as he so very richly deserved, let’s get serious and take a look at the issues.

What do the candidates believe and how will those beliefs translate into policy? I know — I don’t care either. But let’s see if we can find out anyway.

Donald Trump believes in low taxes and deregulation.

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Joe Biden believes he’s in Ohio when, in fact, he’s outside a warehouse in Sheboygan, wondering when the stagecoach will arrive to take him to Cal-i-forn-i-ay.

Donald Trump believes in putting America first.

Joe Biden believes there’s a stain on his basement wall that bears a remarkable resemblance to Elmer Fudd or possibly Antarctica.

Donald Trump believes the news

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