It’s Time For Big Business To Replace All Their CEOs With Twitter Mobs

It’s Time For Big Business To Replace All Their CEOs With Twitter Mobs


Traditionally, businesses followed a fairly simple formula. They sought to sell goods and services to consumers at a mutually beneficial price. In 2021, though, that’s not good enough. It’s time for businesses to do the work. It’s not about shareholders, or even customers, it’s about woke scolds on the internet, also known as “stakeholders.”

In an effort to keep up with this, at least as much as possible, it’s time for businesses to cut out the middleman and go straight to the source. Replace all your CEOs with Twitter.

For if there’s one thing businesses exist to do, it’s not to maximize profits. Business is not about delivering returns to shareholders. It’s about placating those stakeholders.

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Sure, you could have a leader who “makes decisions” and “goes against conventional wisdom,” but you don’t want to get dragged on Twitter, do you? Think short-term here.

Because remember, what matters isn’t inventory, distribution systems, or sales, it’s performative acts of penance

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