This just in! Embalmed D.C. journalist Bob Woodward has proof that President Trump killed 200,000 Americans!
The president “possessed specific knowledge that could have saved lives,” Mr. Woodward claims about comments Mr. Trump made back in February as the federal government began grappling with the emerging global pandemic sparked in a “wet market” in China.
“It is one of those shocks, for me, having written about nine presidents,” Mr. Woodward says haltingly, as he peddles his latest book.
“Historians are going to be writing about the lost month of February for tens of years.”
And what, pray tell, oh great Oracle of Deep Throat, will historians be writing about the month of January? You know, that month that comes BEFORE February, when Democrats in Congress shut down an entire branch of the federal government to pursue a hopeless, partisan impeachment against Mr. Trump.
Democrats ground the federal government to a